so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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