oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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