No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
