I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize