I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
