i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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