last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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