I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
