ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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