i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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