shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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