I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
