I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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