I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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