i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.