This girl is more easily done than said...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
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We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?