You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i believe in u and ur pee