google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
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how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!