I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize