I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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