im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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