So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
