Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
