if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
