How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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