is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
