yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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