In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
