I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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