Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize