question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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