I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
