Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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