When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
