I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize