I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
