my phone needs a breathalizer
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
