This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
