cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
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I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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