I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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