the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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