the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
