She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
