im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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