She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
