I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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