I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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