I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
