I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize