i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
