I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
