weddingsv make me drug and hornr
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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