i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
