They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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