Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
