Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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