He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
