my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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