Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
