my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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