We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
